A man among men...

My memory of stephen is slowly getting foggy, but there in the mist, my impression of him lives. a young man, full of laughter and deep wisdom. even though he was only a year older than myself, he seemed to be my senior by decades in maturity and wisdom. he could be leading the campus christian club with authority one day, and then the next he could be asking random people in the band room to listen to his "brain" (aka, put your ear to his head while he swished spit around). Then there were the random violin solos, what people affectionately call his "fiddle music". suddenly, spoons and washboards would break out and there would be a ho-down in the band room.

i remember where i was when i found out he had died. i was sitting in a hotel lobby in Spain, checking facebook when i saw a note with his name on it. I thought to myself, wow, i havent spoken to him in almost 3 years, I wonder whats going on...and then i read it. Stephen Hampton, Wheaton College graduate (after only 3 years!!!), while on a study-abroad trip to Germany, had been hit by a train and died.

I couldnt believe it. I still couldnt believe it 2 weeks later while at his memorial service back in Simi. And tonight, I found out the saddest news I have ever heard.

Stephen, one of the most joyful and innocent people I knew, one of the greatest lights and inspirations in my own walk with the Lord, had stepped in front of that train. purposefully. My conversation tonight threw me off completely, but one thing doesn't change. I still see stephen as I always have. A bright, nay, genius young man searching so very hard for the Lord, and serving him with his entire being.

That post I made last night, about teenagers leaving home and not being able to reconcile the philosophy of God with the empty deceptions of this world? That was Stephen. He was delving into a world of questions where the leading minds deny that God can be an answer. He was struggling with the fact that Colossians 1 says that all knowledge and wisdom come through Christ, and yet Nieztche and Marx and Lenin deny the possibility. (im not saying that was exactly what he was struggling through, but the concept in general). How can there be a God in a humanistic society? Christian thiesm is being shut in the closet, while athiestic naturalism is prevailing. and maybe Stephen just couldnt take it any more and wanted to talk to God and ask Him above anything else.

As the person I talked to tonight said, the only way I can reconcile and understand (even remotely) this event is to hold on to the possibility that Stephen just couldnt stand not being with God, and couldn't hold on like Paul the Apostle did when he said that it was getting too hard.

~~

psalm 116

I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave [a] came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD :
"O LORD, save me!"

The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

I believed; therefore [b] I said,
"I am greatly afflicted."

And in my dismay I said,
"All men are liars."

How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant [c] ;
you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD. [d]