i feel the need to get out again. i'm trying to figure out what it is, but i seriously feel like something is just...missing. i feel like i'm getting more and more stagnant, just sitting here feeling sorry for myself. i want to go, someplace that i have no other choice but to struggle. to love people and serve them. and i know that i can do that here. but it seems like while i'm here, i'm too content with just hiding from the world, whether it be in my cubicle or my apartment or even just hiding behind my friends.

so just a heads up...
i might leave this summer. possibly. i dont know if i really will, but i really would like to. romania, czech republic, poland, france, china, thailand, japan, india, png, africa....somewhere. we'll see, i guess.

and as a disclaimer, i'm not suggesting i'm just going to bail and run away to another country because i can't be "effective" here. or that i'm fleeing from hurts or anything like that. if i am able to find a way to go somewhere, and i examine my motives (and have others do so as well), and we find that they are for reasons other than an honest pursuit of spiritual growth and a desire to serve God by serving cross-culturally...then, well, i wont go. so there you go. disclaimer ended.

a side note: my mom gave me a bunch of bottles of different vitamins to start taking. and i'm noticing the side-effects of said vitamins. and i'm seriously disappointed. especially when i hiccup and then think "man...i haven't had any sushi lately....oh no." yeah i think its gross too, dont worry.